hardyx2's Xanga

Blog Doesn't Exist Anymore

Wed, 25 Feb 2009 11:23:54 GMT

Hi People.

This Blog Is NO LONGER in use.

New Blog: joshtheidealist.wordpress.com

See you around ;)

Tuesday, February 17, 2009

Tue, 17 Feb 2009 13:00:48 GMT

Flammas eius lucifer matutinus inveniat:
ille, inquam, lucifer, qui nescit occasum,
Christus Filius tuus qui,
regressus ab inferis,
humano generi serenus illuxit,
et vivit et regnat in saecula saeculorum.

May the Morning Star which never sets
find this flame still burning:
Christ, that Morning Star,
who came back from the dead,
and shed his peaceful light on all mankind,
your Son, who lives and reigns for ever and ever.

First Day of Work!

Thu, 22 Jan 2009 14:37:01 GMT

My "Cai Shen Ye" have abandoned me leaving me sort of BROKE!
Therefore, I got myself a part-time job at ASTONS!
Its sorta interesting, getting to know new people.
Seeing Smiles from the Customers. (Great I GET to SMILE too!)
I thought of the phrase " I got my mind on my money, money on my mind"
I realise.. IT WAS UTTER NONSENSE! Hahahaha..

They played music from this mini Laptop.. "looked so weird yet handy"
Oh~ I So freaking love the Indian-Pop or techno Music played!
No Racism in it CAUSE I REALLY MEAN I LOVED IT!
It was fun looking at Ah Boon Dancing to it too! Heh Heh!
Obi helped me LOTS by talking to me and helping with the dishes..
Though there was vulgarities spoken out once in awhile, BUT IT WAS GREAT! (sounds like my sister!)

My leg feels sore! but yet my spirit is rather HIGH!~
At the end of the day, i worked for.. hmm... 11hours of so?
Issn't THAT GREAT! ( JOANNE LEE I EARNED MORE THAN YOUR 1 DAY 42 DOLLAR JOB!)
Learnt Loads from the Job!
All Right peace out.. I need to Visit the All Great And Mighty.. If you know what i mean..

By: Joshua

Anyone?

Mon, 12 Jan 2009 15:53:39 GMT

I shed a tear of shame this afternoon upon recieving my 'O' Level Results.
My head remained low, knowing that i've brought disappointment to my father.
Though people have been telling me. Hey, I believe that this is God's plan. But my question back is, would you think this way if you were in my shoes?
I've always been insecure but yet I do not show it. But this blow is too hard for me to accept.

Upon seeing my dad, I avoided eye contact. How much I wish he would be able to sit and comfort me a little. I guess, this are all I have about an Ideal father. Instead he stood firm and gave me a stern look. I know I'm to be blame. Though I had made improvements from my prelims till Os, I know my father would not bother about the process but only the end product. I've failed to meet my father's expectations yet again.

I teared. Not only over my results, but more so, over the fact that I have failed to be a capable son. I always know that my dad wants me to be the best for my own sake. I wanted to make him proud but ironically, I didn't achieve his expectations. Though he always say that he doesn't expect me to attain a perfect score of 6, but I know in his heart, he desires me to do so.

Now, I believe parental objection have hit in and sticked onto the four walls of my life. Is this the plan God wants me to be in? I don't know. I can't even lift my head high anymore. Happiness is what I wish i can bring to people but sorrow is what I've brought upon myself and my parents. Misery is what I feel.

Can someone help me?

I don't want to be alone.

And I...

feel cold.

Question of the day

Sun, 04 Jan 2009 16:58:10 GMT

Would you do what you have to do when IT comes to you face to face with no other way out?

Neeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep
Says: Reflecto. Joshua

Randomess Unfolds What Can't Be Seen

Fri, 02 Jan 2009 19:40:49 GMT

Life have been full of joy and wonders. Like now, Keith is SNORING OUT LOUD! Literally.. I dont't know how Joshua and Joel is able to sleep with such metallic music! haha. Rock on! Oh great.. Joshua is doing it too.

I can't believe i played 5 consecutive days of Mafia and 6 for mahjong!

Well. enough about that? I thought about cold hard truth which hurts alot but yet reveals much about ones' personality. A low-blow/backstabbing attack from one would cause an entire system to collapse.
Still lost in what im typing? Im refering to reality. Yes! Can friends be really trusted now adays? such friends are really hard to find. However, though such incidents happen around us, we continue to follow this stream of ironic trust between those we hate and even those we love.

My sister told me once that i shouldn't trust anyone even if the person is my best friend. However, Christianity speaks elsewise. Love your neighbour as much as you love yourself.. Love your enemies.. Ironic how a human natural instinct would instruct you to do? That's why Christianity stirs up interest in my heart. Day by day, i understand how people think, why they do so. Relating it to the Book of knowledge, they are almost completely different.

Though you might think that this is just some Bullshit blog post, i think otherwise.
I want to share the joy of reading the bible and of why i think living life with people can be fun as well even if he/she is an enemy. Everyone are living testimonies AND reminders of what the Bible Speaks of. For example, thou shall not kill? yet people kill.. they remind us of what the 10 commandment says. Though this example is cruel and ruthless, it shows something doesn't it?

A link between instinct and holy spirit. normally both contradicts each other. which path would you choose? choices are made though our lifes! Yet we always choose what is right for ourselves but not the kingdom of God! Are we really people minded or are we just bothered over our own life? Would you choose to a Reminder or a Testimony in your life? Develop trust and unity between each other.

If i were to challenge Hope-Sji, I would like to ask them which path would they desire to see? If a common is chosen, why not work together and develop, unity IN YOUR HEARTS and not your mind.

Crappy-Rappy
Says: Sappy a.k.a Joshua

Thursday, January 01, 2009

Thu, 01 Jan 2009 10:26:48 GMT

Happy New Year to ALL.
What's better way to kick of a New Year with a resume?
Have you thought of yours?

Well. I didn't really thought of one myself, but i guess there are 3 ways i would want to elaborate on and work on it. They are Devotion, Willingness which both would initially develop onto Servanthood.

To dedicate my life into what is right. A wise man told me recently that Spirituality is a choice. As I search deeper into the word, i came into a conclusion that spirituality doesn't exist without faith. That though faith, i would also be able to rededicate my life into the Kingdom of God.

Being Willing would mean to be volitional and excercise of the will. Of course patience and readiness of the heart have to be present for me to abandon stubborness in my heart and fully submit myself into the authority of God and my leaders. Thus with addition of Devotion, i would be able to achieve Servanthood.

Servanthood doesn't only relate to people serving a leader, it is also tells us to be dive into Humility. To know that everyone is important in the Kingdom of God and that even as a leader, you got to Serve those under you. Beating down Negative factors which prevents the growth of the Spirt. For example, to be able to know that whether or not you are a leader, you are not perfect and you can still learn regardless of how much information you have.

The truth would be set you free. Though it hurts at times, it would enable you to Grow! GRow!GROw!GROW!

Peace Out.
Says: Joshua

Fantasy & Reality

Fri, 28 Nov 2008 14:44:03 GMT

Every picture comes with a thousand words
Every word comes with some thoughts
Every thought comes with a feeling
Every feeling comes with a reaction
Every reaction comes with an opposite and equal reaction

A world full with emotions seems to fit perfectly into my world. However, this world seems to collide with reality.
Every action i make seems to stir up negative reactions. i am too much of a loud mouth know-it-all Sob.
If i were to decide not to add into a conversation, i would be marked as an Emo Ass.
If i were to say something, it would be of no help (since no one really bothers about what i say)
Getting angry over something would mean that i am having PMS.
So i would like to ask, how should i respond so that my hearts' cry could be heard?

Self-reflectin often occurs and i end up asking.
Seems like ONLY God knows me best.

For those ((# out there who likes to hit my sun-burn spots. Screw off, dig a hole and stay in there. Get a life.

Haru Haru

Tue, 18 Nov 2008 02:24:14 GMT

Leave
Yeah
Finally I realise that I am nothing without you
Im so wrong, forgive me.
Ah..ah..ah..ah..

My broken heart like a wave, My shaken heart like a wind
My heart vanished like smoke, It can't be removed like a tattoo
I sighed deeply as if a ground is going to cave in
Only dust are piled up in my mind.
(say goodbye)

Yeah, I thought I wouldn't be able to live even one day without you
But somehow I managed to live on (longer) than i thought
You don't answer anything as I cry out "I miss you"
I hope for a vain expectation but now it's useless

What is it about that person next to you, did he make you cry?
Dear can you even see me, did you forget completely?
I am worried, I feel anxiety because i can't get close nor try to talk to you
I spend long nights by myself, erasing my thoughts a thousand times.

Don't look back and leave, Don't find my again and live (on)
Because i have no regrets from loving you, take only the good memories
I can bear it in some way, I can stand it in some way
You should be happy if you are like this, I become dull day by day (eh eh eh eh)

Oh~ girl. I cry, cry
You're my all, say goodbye~

If we pass each other on the streets, act like you didn't see me and go the way you were walking to
If you keep thinking about our past memories, I might go for you secretly
Always be happy with him, (so) I won't ever get a different mind

Even small regrets won't be left over ever, please live well AS IF i should feel jealous
You should always be like that bright sky, like that white cloud
Yes, you should always smile like that AS IF nothing happened

Don't look back and leave, Don't find my again and live (on)
Because i have no regrets from loving you, take only the good memories
I can bear it in some way, I can stand it in some way
You should be happy if you are like this, I become dull day by day (eh eh eh eh)

I hope your heart feels relieved, please forget about me and live (on)
Those tears will dry completely, as time passes by
It would've hurt less if we didn't meet at all (mm)
Hope you will bury our promise of being together.
I pray for you

Don't look back and leave, Don't find my again and live (on)
Because i have no regrets from loving you, take only the good memories
I can bear it in some way, I can stand it in some way
You should be happy if you are like this, I become dull day by day (eh eh eh eh)

Don't look back and leave, Don't find my again and live (on)
Because i have no regrets from loving you, take only the good memories
I can bear it in some way, I can stand it in some way
You should be happy if you are like this, I become dull day by day (eh eh eh eh)

Oh girl. I cry, cry
You're my all, say goodbye bye
Oh my love. don't lie, lie
You're my heart, say goodbye.

Thursday, August 14, 2008

Thu, 14 Aug 2008 12:03:02 GMT

Feeling the "heat" of my O lvls.
but not for my prelims.. feels awkward..
I kept telling myself that it was already thursday. but my mind seems to tell me its wednesday o.O
Prelims seems to be passing by REALLY fast.

GUESS WHAT I DID DURING MY CHEMISTRY PAPER 2!
I DREW MORE NONSENSE!
Feeling weird cause everyone used 2 pieces of writing paper while i only used 1..
I have a feeling its because of my tiny hand writing.

Did not complete my Ss Paper for i thought i still had time.
feeling really guilty about it -.- ..

Retaking Chinese "O" lvl..
Can't believe i didn't get B3.

Can someone tell me whether locking the room door is a crime.
My mother seems to dislike me locking the door.
(They should learn how to knock my door)
I think i have the rights to have some privacy.

I've been thinking alot for the past few days.
Temptation is taking over me.
Am i fighting a losing war?
Will my habits from my past overcome me again?
Its been 2 years, why not wait longer. ( ignore the last sentence, its for myself )

Any experts out there knows how to overcome BGR?
Cause i don't want to fall into this trap again -.-..
(Blind i become when i grow weak)

Help!.

Joshua