Flammas eius lucifer matutinus inveniat:
ille, inquam, lucifer, qui nescit occasum,
Christus Filius tuus qui,
regressus ab inferis,
humano generi serenus illuxit,
et vivit et regnat in saecula saeculorum.

May the Morning Star which never sets
find this flame still burning:
Christ, that Morning Star,
who came back from the dead,
and shed his peaceful light on all mankind,
your Son, who lives and reigns for ever and ever.

I shed a tear of shame this afternoon upon recieving  my 'O' Level Results.
My head remained low, knowing that i've brought disappointment to my father.
Though people have been telling me. Hey, I believe that this is God's plan. But my question back is, would you think this way if you were in my shoes?
I've always been insecure but yet I do not show it. But this blow is too hard for me to accept.

Upon seeing my dad, I avoided eye contact. How much I wish he would be able to sit and comfort me a little. I guess, this are all I have about an Ideal father. Instead he stood firm and gave me a stern look. I know I'm to be blame. Though I had made improvements from my prelims till Os, I know my father would not bother about the process but only the end product. I've failed to meet my father's expectations yet again.

I teared. Not only over my results, but more so, over the fact that I have failed to be a capable son. I always know that my dad wants me to be the best for my own sake. I wanted to make him proud but ironically, I didn't achieve his expectations. Though he always say that he doesn't expect me to attain a perfect score of 6, but I know in his heart, he desires me to do so.

Now, I believe parental objection have hit in and sticked onto the four walls of my life. Is this the plan God wants me to be in? I don't know. I can't even lift my head high anymore. Happiness is what I wish i can bring to people but sorrow is what I've brought upon myself and my parents. Misery is what I feel.

Can someone help me?

I don't want to be alone.

And I...

feel cold.